


freedom. where are you?

by CyrusBreeze



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Ableism, Deaf Character, Gen, M/M, Police Brutality, Politics, Racism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-24
Updated: 2018-08-24
Packaged: 2019-07-01 18:21:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,167
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15779538
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CyrusBreeze/pseuds/CyrusBreeze
Summary: “I get nervous around cops,” Sam answered. “It’s just... I really don’t know how to explain it to you, Steve.”“He wasn’t going to shoot you,” Steve said. He had read the news. He knew of unarmed black men and even children getting shot and killed, and he knew that oftentimes the police officer who killed them didn’t end up with any punishment. But the officer who pulled them had seemed fairly harmless, and besides, a few bad apples shouldn’t ruin the whole bunch.Or...The one where’s Steve preconceived notions about the police and people of color are shattered.





	freedom. where are you?

**Author's Note:**

> The title is from freedom by Beyoncé. 
> 
> So let me preface this by saying that I wrote this in literally three hours. 
> 
> I also didn’t proofread because I’m lazy. As such, this story may read a little weird. 
> 
> I was inspired to write this after watching a video on Deaf Police Brutality in my ASL class. 
> 
> My baby sister is black as Black and Deaf so this hits home for me. 
> 
> All of the incidents referenced in this story are drawn from real life instances of police brutality. 
> 
> Content Warning: Police brutality, ableism, racism, guns, “not all cops” mentality and brief non graphic descriptions of violence.

Steve first noticed Sam’s reaction to the police while on a bike ride with Sam. Steve was, admittedly, speeding, but he loved the open road, and sometimes it was hard to control himself. 

Sam tensed when he heard the sirens as did Steve. Steve pulled over and removed his helmet, setting it next to his bike on the side of the road. Sam followed. 

Then, in a move that shocked Steve, Sam placed both hands firmly on Steve’s shoulders, as I he were gripping for dear life. Sam usually wasn’t one for public displays of affection, so this was new. 

The officer approached the motorcycle. 

“Good afternoon,” Steve said smoothly. 

“Well I’ll be damned,” the officer said. “My buddies aren’t gonna believe I pulled over the great and mighty Captain America.” He chuckled. 

Steve offered a small smile. 

“And they’d never let me live it down if I wrote you a ticket,” the officer continued.

Steve relaxed, letting the tension in his shoulders release. Sam’s grip remained rigid. 

“Do you know how fast you were going?” The officer asked. 

Steve blushed. “No,” he said. 

“Seventy-right,” the officer answered. Then, he turned until he was facing Sam. 

“Is this the great Falcon?” He asked. 

“Yes, sir,” Sam said, but his voice sounded thick. 

“You’re my daughter’s favorite,” the officer said with a grin. 

“That’s... thank you sir,” Sam said, and Steve could tell that he was trying to interject more sound into his voice.

“I’ll tell you what,” the officer said. “I’m not really supposed to do this, but I’ll let you off with a warning if I can get both of y’all’s autographs.” 

Steve chuckled. “It’d be my pleasure,” Steve said. 

There was an uncomfortable silence. 

“Mine too,” Sam added hoarsely. 

The officer smiled and handed Steve a pen and his ticket pad. Steve scribbled an autograph. He handed the notepad to Sam. 

Sam seemed to freeze. Then, he removed one hands from Steve’s shoulders and grabbed the pad. He carefully telegraphed his movements as he transferred the pen to his opposite hand and scribbled his signature onto the page. 

He handed the notepad back to the officer and immediately placed both hands back onto Steve’s shoulders. 

“Be safe now,” the officer said with a grin. He tipped his hat and then beaded back to his car. 

Steve reached for his helmet and placed it back onto his head. Sam didn’t follow. Instead, Sam waited until the police officer had driven away. 

Then, he reached for his helmet and placed it onto his head. It wasn’t until the police car was out of sight that Steve felt Sam physically relax. 

“You okay?” Steve said loudly. 

“I’m fine,” Sam responded. “Tired is all.” 

Although Steve didn’t accept that answer, he wanted to get home so he started his engine and took off. 

-X- 

“Why were you so tense earlier when we got pulled over?” Steve asked Sam later that night as they were curled up in bed. His arm was across Sam’s rib cage, and he could feel every breath that Sam took. 

“It’s just...” Sam trailed off. Then, his breath hitched. “I don’t know how to explain it to you.” 

“Explain what?” Steve asked, rubbing a small circle on Sam’s chest. 

“I get nervous around cops,” Sam answered. “It’s just... I really don’t know how to explain it to you, Steve.” 

“He wasn’t going to shoot you,” Steve said. He had read the news. He knew of unarmed black men and even children getting shot and killed, and he knew that oftentimes the police officer who killed them didn’t end up with any punishment. But the officer who pulled them had seemed fairly harmless, and besides, a few bad apples shouldn’t ruin the whole bunch.

“I know,” Sam said. His breath hitched again. “I’m really tired, Steve,” Sam continued. “I’m going to go to sleep.” 

And despite that, Sam’s breathing didn’t even out until almost an hour later. 

-X- 

Steve tried to be more observant, and things started to fall into place. 

He noticed that Sam clutched his hand tighter whenever the passed a police officer. 

He watched how Sam stood ramrod straight whenever the Avengers went out and engaged with the local police department of whatever disaster they were called to. 

Steve couldn’t help but notice Sam’s apprehension in every interaction they had with the police. 

And every time Steve asked him about it, Sam dismissed the question, electing to change the subject or otherwise avoid discussing his issue. 

-X- 

It wasn’t until he met Sam’s family for the first time that things started to fall into place. 

“My younger sister, Selah, is Deaf,” Sam explained while they were in the car. “She’s seventeen, so she’s the only one still at home. You’ll get to meet her and my mom and dad.” 

“Does she know ASL?” Steve asked. “I picked up some signs from Clint.” Steve was actually pretty proficient in American Sign Language. After all, the super soldier serum allowed him to retain information better than he had previously, and picking up sign language had been no issue at all. 

“She’ll sign her fingers off if you let her,” Sam said with a laugh. “She’s headed off to Gallaudet in the fall, so my parents will finally be empty nesters. They had me at sixteen and my little brother a few years later so they’ve had kids in their house for thirty years.” 

Steve smiled. “I’m excited to meet them,” he said. 

They arrived an hour later. 

They had barely opened the door when a y’all figure came flying toward them. The figure in question was a talk girl with skin who was slightly lighter than Sam’s. Her hair was in box braids, and she had gathered Sam into a hug before Sam could say a word. 

He noticed her green hearing aids last. So this was Selah. 

Selah pulled away from hugging Sam and began signing rapidly. 

Steve looked away. It was rude to stare at their conversation. 

Sam tapped Steve on a shoulder a moment later. Steve turned around. 

“ _Hi_ ,” he waved. “ _I’m S-T-E-V-E_.” 

“ _S-E-L-A-H_ ,” Selah signed back. Then she signed, “Name sign.” Then, she signed something close to her face with an S. 

Steve stared blankly. Then, he turned to Sam for help. 

“It’s dimples with an S,” Sam supplied. 

Selah grinned, showing off her dimples. 

Steve stuck out his hand for Selah to shake. 

Selah surprised him by dismissing his hand and enveloping Steve into a hug. Steve hugged back. 

“ _You’re family_ ,” she sighed when she pulled away. “ _We hug_.” 

“ _Where’s Mom and Dad_?” Sam asked. 

“W-A-L-M-A-R-T,” Selah answered. “ _You’re early.”_

“ _Steve drives fast_ ,” Sam signs. 

Selah eyed Sam suspiciously. Then, she sigene d something far too quickly for Steve to understand. 

Sam sighed then shook his head. 

Selah rolled her eyes. 

“ _Let’s sit_ ,” Sam signed. 

They walked into the den and settled on the couches. 

Sam’s phone rang. 

“It’s my mom,” he said to Steve. Then he turned and signed, “Mom.” 

He left the room, leaving Selah and Steve to chat amongst themselves. 

“ _Are you excited for school?_ ” Steve asked. “S-A-M told me you were going to G-A-L-L-A-U-D-E-T.” 

Selah grinned. “ _I’m excited!_ ” She signed. 

“ _What are you going to study?_ ” 

Selah shrugged. “ _Social Work or_ ,” her second sign was unrecognizable. 

“ _I don’t know the second one_ ,” Steve signed. 

“ _P-S-Y-C-H-O-L-O-G-Y_ ,” She spelled. 

Steve nodded. He didn’t know how else to continue and Sam was still in the kitchen on the phone. “ _Do you drive yet?_ ” He signed. It seemed like as good a segue as any. Plus, he knew that many Deaf individuals were better drivers than their hearing peers. “ _Traffic in DC is wild._ ” 

Selah shook her head fiercely. “ _I don’t drive. Too scary._ ” 

“ _Driving is fun. Other drivers aren’t so bad_ ,” Steve offered. 

“ _It’s not other drivers_ ,” Selah signed. 

“ _What then?_ ” Steve asked. 

Selah made a C and tapped her chest twice. 

At Steve’s perplexed stare, she fingerspelled. “ _C-O-P-S_.” The look o sheer terror on face was genuine and it was unnerving. 

As she finished, Sam stepped back into the room. 

Selah huffed. 

“ _What’s wrong?_ Sam signed. 

“ _Nothing_ ,” Selah said dismissively. 

Sam looked skeptical for a moment but he acquiesced. “ _Mom and Dad will be back in five minutes._ ” He signed. 

And they didn’t discuss cops or driving for the rest of the night. 

Shawn and Shayla Wilson were incredibly kind. Shayla Wilson have him hugs and referred to him as family. And Shawn took him into his office and gave him the shovel talk, as expected. 

They had dinner. Shayla’s cooking was beyond incredible. And Shawn made his famous chocolate cake for dessert. 

Overall, it was good. It was fun, but Steve couldn’t stop thinking about how terrified Selah looked at the prospect of driving. 

Was that how Sam felt? 

How had Steve not realized this? 

“Why does Selah not want to drive?” Steve asked on the ride home. 

“Cops,” Sam answered simply. 

“Why is she scared of them?” Steve asked. 

“I don’t know,” Sam said, his voice was honeyed, and he sounded too calm for the situation. 

“Why are _you_ scared of cops?” Steve asked Sam. 

Sam sighed. “Most of my mom’s family is Deaf. My mom is the only hearing one of her siblings. Most of my cousins are Deaf. My uncle is a lawyer, and my aunt’s a chemical engineer. They live in a nice neighborhood. Someone called the cops on my cousin when he was fifteen because he was walking around the neighborhood late at night. They didn’t turn on their sirens, so my cousin had no warning before there were cops yelling at him. He’s Deaf, so he didn’t turn around. He wasn’t even paying attention and he stuck his hand in his pocket, and they shot him.” 

Steve gasped. 

“He’s alive,” Sam said quickly. “He’s paralyzed from the waist. That happened when I was eight, before Selah was born. I was younger than most when my parents sat me down and explained what happened to my cousin. And my dad told me exactly how to engage with police. I rarely ever speed unless it’s an emergency. I also learned to always keep my hands visible and to telegraph any movement that I make. And it terrifies me that I can do everything right and still get shot. My cousin was my favorite person growing up, and seeing him in the hospital made things surreal. He was literally walking around in his neighborhood while black, and he almost got killed for it.” 

Steve was quiet, allowing Sam’s words to sink in. It made sense, and Steve was disappointed in himself for not realizing it sooner. 

“Selah is a different story,” Sam continued. “She’s dating this guy. He’s a year older than her so I think he was sixteen when it happened, which was two years ago. He’s white, actually, and he’s Deaf. And he just started driving a few months ago. He got pulled over because his tail light was busted. Because of his speech, they assumed he was high, despite repeated assertions that he was Deaf. He didn’t get out of the car when they asked, so they proceeded to drag him out of he car. They realized he was juvenile and released him immediately, but he walked away with a broken wrist and bruises. Selah is terrified it will happen to her, especially considering that she’s black and Deaf.” 

“Wow,” Steve said softly. “I’m sorry.” 

“It’s not your fault,” Sam said. “It’s society, and it’s fucked.” 

“It’s my fault that you have to explain it to me,” Steve said. “This is something I should’ve been aware of and it was unfair of me to expect you to explain it to me.” 

Sam waved his hand casually. “I’m used to it.” 

“It’s still unfair for me to expect you to perform emotional labor when this is something I could’ve taken the time to educate myself on,” Steve countered. “I’m sorry. I will try to be more diligent. And I will stop speeding.” 

Sam gave Steve a small smile. “I’m sorry that reality isn’t the post racism America that SHIELD told you it was,” he said. 

Steve snorted. “I’ve known for a while that we weren’t living in post racial America. I just didn’t stop to think how stuff would affect you, and I’m sorry about that.” 

“I love you,” Sam said. “And I love that you’re willing to learn without getting defensive.” 

“I love you too,” Steve returned. “And I hate that you have to go through this.” 

-X- 

“I can’t believe you’re doing this,” Sam said from his spot on the couch. 

Steve was dressed in his uniform with his laptop open. He was preparing to be Skyped into a Fox News episode about Colin Kaepernick. 

“Fox News asked for an interview,” Steve said. “An interview is what they’re going to get.” 

Sam grinned. “I love you,” He said. 

Steve’s laptop rang with the call. “And I love you,” he replied. 

**Author's Note:**

> First off, I don’t want a single “not all cops” comment. I don’t give a fuck. Until you’ve had to explain to your little sister that every interaction she has with a cop is a life or death situation, then you can fuck right off. 
> 
> If you’re interested in learning more about Police Brutality and the Deaf community, let me know, and I’m more than willing to share links and sources. 
> 
> Also I might write a fic with Steve’s Skype interview if that’s something y’all are interested in. 
> 
> Leave a comment I guess? If you want.


End file.
